I am deathly afraid of...

It was recommended to me at one point that I type this into the Google search bar for entertainment purposes. I have to say, it worked. So much that I did it again a week later. Amazing how laughing at other people's ridiculous fears can make you feel better. :P

Here's a list of some of the less common fears that folks have felt compelled to write about on the internet (and keep in mind that I did not visit these websites to read more... that's something that I'M afraid of!).

swimming pool drains
February
jump ropes
lepracuans (spelling intact - yikes)
haircuts
lizards (watch some Geico commercials, okay?)
that the Patriots will trade Brady for MULTIPLE 1st round picks this offseason (how about if they just fire him? would that be alright?)
palmetto bugs (I don't know what these are. Maybe this is warranted.)
bears (stay out of the woods)
the concept of cheating (not the deed itself, apparently)
napkins
pickles
getting an apparition (how's this work?)
Mike Cammalleri (is he after you personally??)
authors that blurb their own books (oh, the horror)
holes in reality (I think I'm in one now.)
people making fun of me in the forums (heh. some of us actually crave that.)
cows
butterflies
cotton
pressure cookers
feathers
Peter Pan
bees (yet, I am attracted to them... that's a direct quote)
facial hair (guy or girl talking? big difference in the psychological issues involved)
whales

whew. Have to stop. My own fears, of course, are perfectly normal and understandable. Spiders. Popsicle sticks. Condiments (only the big 3 - oh, and that one that weirdos sometimes put on their fish).

Stop looking at me like that.